Institute Category

Consumer & Shopping

Temu spirals, Erewhon addiction, Labubu hoarding, dupe culture.

TERMINAL (4)

Terminal Ad-Driven-Purchase Spiral Patient saw an Instagram ad for a product claiming to 'revolutionize' one aspect of daily life — a silicone ki
Terminal BookTok Influence Patient has read 94 books, all of them dragons. Has a tier list. Cannot name a novel published before 2019.
Terminal Crypto Re-Entry Patient has returned to the chart for the 47th time this week. Swore off in 2022. Is now in a leveraged positi
Terminal Erewhon Addiction Patient has spent $94 this week on a green drink endorsed by someone's daughter. Claims they can 'feel the dif

Pathological Budget-App Graveyard Patient has downloaded, in the last three years: Mint, YNAB, Copilot, Rocket Money, and Monarch. Each for appr
Pathological Bulk-Buy Paradox Patient is at Costco. Has just put a 40-count box of laundry pods into the cart. They have, at home, 14 unused
Pathological Phantom-Cart Accumulation Patient has approximately $340 of items currently sitting in a SHEIN cart. Also $190 on Amazon. Also an unknow
Pathological Skool-Community Subscriber Patient is paying $49/month to be in a Skool community run by a 22-year-old who has, patient has discovered, b

Severe $497-Course Conviction Disorder Patient has, in the last 18 months, purchased six digital courses at an average price of $497. Topics: dropshi
Severe Activewear Dependency Patient has not worn non-athletic clothing in a verifiable social setting since 2019. Presents with full Lulul
Severe Apple-Ecosystem Dependency Patient owns an iPhone, a MacBook, an iPad, AirPods, an Apple Watch, and, as of last Christmas, an Apple TV. T
Severe BNPL Denial Patient has 14 active Klarna payments, 6 Afterpays, and 3 Affirms. Each was 'only $19 a month.' Total: $1,340/
Severe Dupe-Culture Compulsion Patient owns 14 items described as 'basically the same.' They are not basically the same. Has broken a zipper
Severe Labubu Dependency Patient owns 47 blind-box figurines clipped to a handbag worth less than the figurines. Presents with a persis
Severe Payday-Splurge Cycle Patient's paycheck arrives on Friday at 9:14 AM. By Friday evening, patient has spent $340 on: a celebratory d
Severe Planner-Purchase Paradox Patient has purchased four planners this year. And three journals. And a bullet journal with dotted pages. And
Severe Shein-Haul Disorder Patient orders $300 of clothes weekly. 60% are returned, 30% go to Goodwill with tags on, 10% worn once. The w
Severe Tote-Bag Accumulation Compulsion Patient owns 41 tote bags. Has an entire hook, drawer, or specific closet corner dedicated to the collection.

Chronic Airport Lounge Entitlement Patient now refuses to fly without three lounges, a tier status, and a branded neck pillow. Has cried at a Pri
Chronic Amazon-Prime Automatic Reordering Patient has 14 items on 'subscribe and save.' They have enough toilet paper for 4 years. Every month a fresh s
Chronic Dropshipping-Store Abandonment Patient opened a Shopify store in 2024 after a YouTube tutorial. Selected 'beauty and wellness' as a niche des
Chronic Festival-Outfit Disorder Patient has planned six outfits for a 3-day festival 11 months away. Has not purchased the ticket.
Chronic Girl-Math Reasoning Patient purchased a $400 coat by dividing it over '400 wears.' Has worn it twice. Has declared it 'essentially
Chronic Return-Window Denial Patient believes 'within 30 days' means 'ish'. The bag has been on the hallway chair for 94 days. The receipt
Chronic Stanley Cup Hoarding Patient owns 14 Stanley tumblers in discontinued seasonal colorways. Drinks water from a mug. Queues up for ne

Advanced Pumpkin-Spice Personality Patient has a Halloween countdown app active in April. Owns 31 candles labeled 'Cozy.' Has cried at a leaf.
Advanced Temu Spiral Patient has 49 unread Temu notifications, 12 packages in transit, and cannot remember ordering any of them. A
Advanced TikTok-Shop Collapse Patient owns 7 electric spin scrubbers, a pimple patch for the face-shape they don't have, and a lamp describe
Advanced Whole Foods Overcommitment Patient enters the store for 'milk and bread' and emerges with $94 of artisanal items, including one (1) fenne

Acute PLT-Haul-Return Guilt Patient ordered 14 items. She will keep 2. Returning the other 12 will require a post office, a bag, and commi
Acute Sephora-Sale Anxiety The sale begins tomorrow. Patient has a 43-item wishlist. Will buy 31 items. Most are duplicates of things the
Acute Zillow-Browsing Delusion Patient spends upwards of 3 hours daily viewing houses in cities they have never visited, at price points 14×

Compulsive Device-Upgrade Urgency Patient's iPhone 14 still works. Battery is at 89%. All apps run. Camera is fine. Patient ordered the iPhone 1