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Condition File

Terminal Ad-Driven-Purchase Spiral

UNTREATABLE.COM Institute of Incurable Conditions
TERMINAL
Diagnosis
Terminal Ad-Driven-Purchase Spiral
Emptio sequens advertisement
Clinical description

Patient saw an Instagram ad for a product claiming to 'revolutionize' one aspect of daily life — a silicone kitchen tool, a posture corrector, a supplement, a gadget. The ad was served at 11:47 PM. The patient ordered it at 11:51 PM. The product arrived 14 days later, broke within four days, and was manufactured in a facility whose name patient cannot locate. The review section was, on closer inspection, entirely five-star profiles with three reviews each. Patient will, this week, see a different ad.

Prognosis

Chronic. The algorithm has, apparently, calibrated.

Recommended treatment

None. Return shipping would cost more than the product, which was the design.

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Common symptoms

Patients with Terminal Ad-Driven-Purchase Spiral typically present with some or all of the following:

What is this?

Terminal Ad-Driven-Purchase Spiral was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.

The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Emptio sequens advertisement — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.

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