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Condition File

Acute PLT-Haul-Return Guilt

UNTREATABLE.COM Institute of Incurable Conditions
ACUTE
Diagnosis
Acute PLT-Haul-Return Guilt
Compromissum digitalis commercium
Clinical description

Patient ordered 14 items. She will keep 2. Returning the other 12 will require a post office, a bag, and commitment she does not possess. The haul will age in hallway-pile form.

Prognosis

Irreversible. The return window closes during the procrastination.

Recommended treatment

Commit to one return trip per month. None will occur.

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Common symptoms

Patients with Acute PLT-Haul-Return Guilt typically present with some or all of the following:

What is this?

Patients diagnosed with Acute PLT-Haul-Return Guilt present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.

The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Compromissum digitalis commercium, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.

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