UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has not worn non-athletic clothing in a verifiable social setting since 2019. Presents with full Lululemon ensembles during funerals, court appearances, and a recent wedding.
Irreversible. Jeans now cause physical revulsion.
No known intervention. Do not attempt a capsule wardrobe.
Patients with Severe Activewear Dependency typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Activewear Dependency was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Lululemonus publica permanens — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.