Write your own prescription.

How to write a great fake prescription

A good custom prescription reads like a real Rx slip — then reveals itself on the side-effects line. Four rules.

1. Write the Latin like it belongs on the slip

Two words. First word capitalized. Mock-clinical but not ridiculous. Good endings: -us, -a, -um, -osa, -icus, -ium. Examples: Silentium Immediatum, Oblivionis Temporaria, Logoff Immediato, Boundarium Hardcore. Real-sounding enough that a pharmacist would start to type it before catching themselves.

2. The dosage should be behaviorally specific

"Take two" is weak. "One (1) hour of uninterrupted silence, taken orally" is a prescription. Numbers + units + specificity. The more exact, the funnier.

3. The refills line carries the deadpan

Examples: 0 — condition is permanent. Unlimited — the pattern returns. As many as required; none will work. The refills line does half the work.

4. The side effects line is where the treatment actually lives

This is the payoff. The Latin is for show. The dosage is for texture. The side effects are what the prescription is actually saying. "May include clarity, unplanned weeping, and the sudden urge to quit LinkedIn." Load the punchline here.

Prompts if you're stuck

• The thing they need to stop doing that everyone has quietly given up mentioning.
• An app that should be deleted from their phone by someone with authority.
• A time-of-day during which they should be specifically forbidden from texting.
• A word they say so often the group chat has banned it twice.
• The action that would fix the problem and that they will, however, never take.
• Something a therapist would have said to them in 2019 if they had gone.

How sharing works

Three ways to send a custom prescription:

• Save card — on mobile, opens the native share sheet (Instagram, Messages, Photos). On desktop, downloads a 1080×1080 PNG.
• Copy image — puts the image on your clipboard. Paste directly into a message.
• Copy share link — generates a URL that opens the prescription anywhere. Share the link; the recipient sees the slip rendered in their browser.

Rules of engagement

Keep it funny, keep it friendly. This is a prescription you'd actually want to receive. No slurs, no sincere cruelty, no attempts to make someone believe it's a real medication. The Institute reserves the right to pretend it never met you.