UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient enters the store for 'milk and bread' and emerges with $94 of artisanal items, including one (1) fennel bulb. Has not returned the fennel bulb since 2022.
Chronic. Worsens when accompanied by a partner.
None. Lists are ignored by the condition.
Patients with Advanced Whole Foods Overcommitment typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Whole Foods Overcommitment belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Impulso bougie perpetua, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.