UNTREATABLE.COM
Two lanes. Same clinical voice. Both generate a shareable card and a link. Pick your poison.
Entries written and submitted by Institute patients. Lightly edited for archival; otherwise reproduced as received.
Patient leaves one AirPod in "in case something important comes through." Nothing important has come through in 18 months.
For the coworker who schedules 30-minute meetings that could have been three bullet points. Dosage: one email. Duration: the rest of your career.
Patient's mother has shared 14 unsolicited thoughts on the patient's haircut, job, apartment, and the partner she has never met.
For the partner who insists the TV "stays on for background noise" while you attempt to have a conversation you have been deferring for two weeks.
Patient has turned off read receipts. Claims they "just never got around to it." Has explicitly turned them off. Claims they didn't.
For the friend who confirms plans with "yeah maybe!!" and then, 14 minutes before, texts "sooo sorry my schedule got crazy." Refills: zero.
Most sites that let you "write your own" give you a blank textbox and hope. The Institute gives you a full form, a severity taxonomy, a Latin-binomial convention, and — on the prescription side — a dosage table, a refills line, and a side-effects slot that does most of the heavy lifting.
If you want to diagnose someone with a formal behavioral condition — use Create a diagnosis. If you want to prescribe a specific treatment for a specific complaint — use Create a prescription. Some patients use both. The Institute has no opinion on which is more effective.
You get three ways to send it: Save card (mobile share sheet on iOS/Android, direct download on desktop), Copy image (paste into any chat), or Copy share link (opens the diagnosis or prescription in a browser). Nothing you write is stored on our servers — everything lives in the URL you send. If you lose the link, the submission is gone.
Keep it funny, keep it friendly. Neither the diagnosis nor the prescription tool is a bullying tool. No slurs, no sincere cruelty, no attempts to make someone believe it's a real condition or a real medication. The Institute reserves the right to pretend it never met you.