UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's paycheck arrives on Friday at 9:14 AM. By Friday evening, patient has spent $340 on: a celebratory dinner, two Uber rides, a pair of sneakers, a concert ticket for a concert in three months, and, inexplicably, a new water bottle. By Monday, patient is, again, worried about money. The cycle has run, with near-perfect consistency, for three years. Each Friday feels, briefly, like wealth.
Chronic. The Monday-to-Thursday restraint accumulates into the Friday release.
None. 'Just one treat' has been redefined to include five separate purchases.
Patients with Severe Payday-Splurge Cycle typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Payday-Splurge Cycle is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Profusio periodica stipendii — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.