UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient believes 'within 30 days' means 'ish'. The bag has been on the hallway chair for 94 days. The receipt has been laundered twice. The return is, patient insists, 'still happening'.
Permanent. The bag has now fused with the chair.
Accept the loss. Consider it a donation.
Patients with Chronic Return-Window Denial typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Return-Window Denial is a chronic behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Tempus refundi interpretatio elastica — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.