Formulary Entry

Pickleball Moderatio

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Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1

℞

Rx #95,980 Wellness & Lifestyle

Prescribed

Pickleball Moderatio

(Pickleball Moderation, voluntary)

Dosage	One (1) week per month with zero pickleball played, discussed, or planned
Frequency	Monthly
Duration	Permanent practice
Refills	Unlimited — the paddle will, apparently, still work after a week of rest

Side effects May include the specific grief of seven consecutive days without a court, the phantom urge to 'just open Facebook to check the local group,' and — critically — the observation that the 6-times-weekly play frequency had been, apparently, the reason for the knee thing patient has been ignoring.

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Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Pickleball Moderatio for:

Severe pickleball fixation
The three-paddle acquisition pattern
The specific 22-minute conversational corner deployed at barbecues in which patient has described 'the third shot drop' to a non-player

What is this?

Pickleball Moderatio is a formal prescription dispensed by the Institute Pharmacy for the behavioral complaint described above. It is not a real medication, will not be found in any pharmacopoeia, and cannot be filled at a real pharmacy. It can, however, be filled by the patient, for the patient, at home.

In the Institute Pharmacy's ledger, this prescription is entered under the English reading Pickleball Moderation, voluntary — a description patients tend to find more useful than the Latin.

Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.

Prescribed for

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