UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient wakes up at 11:47 AM in full makeup, announces to an empty room that they are 'never drinking again,' drafts a vague apology text to their group chat, drinks an entire electrolyte packet, and books a spin class for 6 PM they will not attend. By Thursday, they are pre-gaming.
Resets weekly. Deteriorates after every birthday weekend.
None. The vow is made in good faith and has the structural integrity of a croissant.
Patients with Severe Morning-After Renunciation Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Morning-After Renunciation Syndrome is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Post-potatio abnegatio absoluta — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.