UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient discovered pickleball nine weeks ago and now plays six times a week. Has bought three paddles, one at $240. Has joined two local Facebook groups and a WhatsApp. Has, at a barbecue, cornered a non-pickleballer for 22 minutes. Has posted 'pickleball is my therapy' to Instagram. Their knees are not okay.
Chronic. A fourth paddle is incoming.
None. The therapist has become a pickleball partner.
Patients with Advanced Pickleball Sudden Obsession typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Pickleball Sudden Obsession belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Passio pickleball nova, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.