UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient cannot leave the house on foot without a pastel tumbler, AirPods, and a podcast about wellness. 73 minutes, no exceptions, regardless of weather or grief.
Chronic. Will walk through a hurricane.
Untreatable. The walk is the therapist.
Patients with Severe Hot-Girl-Walk Mandate typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Hot-Girl-Walk Mandate belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Ambulatio performativa hydrata, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.