UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient begins every new introduction with 'just so you know, she does not like most people, so do not take it personally.' The dog, Rosie, then proceeds to immediately like the new person. Rolls onto her back. Presents belly. Patient is now mildly offended. Has, on three occasions, said 'huh, weird, she is never like this.'
Chronic. The warning is preemptive to every interaction.
None. The dog has, apparently, good taste that the patient lacks.
Patients with Advanced She-Doesnt-Like-Most-People Warning typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced She-Doesnt-Like-Most-People Warning was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Admonitio canis selectivi — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.