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Patient enters the dog park and immediately assesses which other humans they will have to make small talk with. Spots the guy who will tell them about raw feeding. Spots the woman who will ask what breed. Patient stands near their dog, avoids eye contact, and pretends to be on a call.
Chronic. Worsens on weekends.
Untreatable. The dog has friends. The patient does not.
Patients with Advanced Dog-Park Social Anxiety typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Dog-Park Social Anxiety is an advanced behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Horror sociale canis publicus — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.