UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient mentions their rescue dog Luna was 'adopted, not shopped' in every single conversation involving the dog, including ones where nobody asked. Has said it eight times at one dinner. Luna is a great dog. The anecdote is, at this point, load-bearing to patient's personality.
Permanent. The moral framing is now a reflex.
Untreatable. Any question about the dog triggers it.
Patients with Chronic Adopt-Dont-Shop Broadcasting typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Adopt-Dont-Shop Broadcasting belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Adoptio proclamatio perpetua, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.