Formulary Entry

Canis Identitas Separatio

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Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1

℞

Rx #71,264 Pets & Animal Culture

Prescribed

Canis Identitas Separatio

(Owner-Dog Identity Separation, attempted)

Dosage	One (1) introduction using only patient's own name, no pet mentioned
Frequency	At every new-acquaintance interaction for 30 days
Duration	30 days minimum, lifelong preferred
Refills	0 — each introduction must be earned by not mentioning Bailey

Side effects May include the specific ache of withholding a core personality detail, a coworker's genuine surprise that you do other things, and — by day 19 — the unsettling observation that you existed, demonstrably, before the dog. Bailey will still be there on day 31.

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Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Canis Identitas Separatio for:

Dog-parent identity fusion
'Bailey's mom' self-introductions at work events
The specific Instagram bio that leads with a Cavapoo

What is this?

This is the formulary entry for Canis Identitas Separatio. The binomial is fictional. The dispensary number is procedurally generated. The side effects, if the prescription is followed, are not.

The pharmacy files this slip under its English translation Owner-Dog Identity Separation, attempted, for patients who prefer their prescriptions in plain language.

Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.

Prescribed for

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