UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient walks their dog off-leash in areas clearly marked on-leash only. Insists the dog has 'really good recall.' The dog does not have recall. The dog has chased a jogger, a squirrel, and, on one occasion, a motorcycle. Patient says 'hes friendly!' at a rising volume as the dog closes the distance.
Chronic. A citation has not adjusted the behavior.
Untreatable. The leash is in the car, apparently.
Patients with Terminal Off-Leash Overconfidence typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Terminal Off-Leash Overconfidence present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Canis liberatus fiducia totalis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.