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Patient shifts into a high-register baby voice within 400 milliseconds of seeing any dog, cat, or rabbit. The voice has a distinct pitch signature. Their partner has recorded it. Their coworkers have overheard it on calls. It activates for neighbor dogs, TV dogs, and in one case, a photograph of a dog.
Chronic. The register is now hardcoded.
None. Conscious suppression lasts approximately six seconds.
Patients with Acute Baby-Talk Voice Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Acute Baby-Talk Voice Disorder present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Vox infantilis irrepressibilis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
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