UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient uses a distinct, low, corrective tone when speaking to their dog Rufus that they do not use for any human, including their spouse. Rufus responds to this voice immediately. The spouse has noted, several times, that Rufus gets better communication than they do.
Chronic. The voice is reserved exclusively for the dog.
Untreatable. The spouse's observation has been dismissed.
Patients with Terminal Indoor-Voice Dog Correction typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Indoor-Voice Dog Correction belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Vox domestica canis stricta, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.