Formulary Entry

Plantae Delenda

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Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1

℞

Rx #31,239 Wellness & Lifestyle

Prescribed

Plantae Delenda

(Plants, Some Deletable)

Dosage	One (1) dead plant accepted as dead, removed from the apartment, and not replaced within 30 days
Frequency	Per confirmed plant death
Duration	Permanent practice
Refills	Unlimited — the three surviving plants do not, apparently, need 14 additional companions to be valid

Side effects May include the specific grief of accepting a plant had, in fact, been dead for six weeks, the phantom urge to 'just stick it in water for one more chance,' and — critically — the observation that the 47 plants patient had acquired across two years had been, apparently, serving a decorative purpose patient could have achieved with three healthy ones.

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Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Plantae Delenda for:

Chronic plant-parent delusion
The dead-plant denial pattern
The specific 47-plant accumulation framed as an identity rather than as an accumulation

What is this?

This is the formulary entry for Plantae Delenda. The binomial is fictional. The dispensary number is procedurally generated. The side effects, if the prescription is followed, are not.

The pharmacy files this slip under its English translation Plants, Some Deletable, for patients who prefer their prescriptions in plain language.

Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.

Prescribed for

What is this?

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