UNTREATABLE.COM
| Dosage | One (1) sentence, spoken to the partner, asking directly what the comment was actually about |
| Frequency | Per spiral episode |
| Duration | Lifelong |
| Refills | 0 — the three-hour private trial is not discovery, it is rumination |
The Institute dispenses Nominatio Conjugalis for:
Nominatio Conjugalis is part of the Institute Pharmacy's formulary of satirical prescriptions. Everything on this slip is fictional except the behavior it addresses. A real pharmacist, handed this slip, would decline to fill it. Patients are invited to fill it themselves.
Patients know it in practice as Partner Problem Named, out loud — the Latin is ceremonial; the English form is what they actually execute.
Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.