UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's partner said one mildly frustrated thing at 7:14 PM on a Tuesday. Patient has now spent three hours privately constructing a case against their own adequacy as a romantic partner. Has reviewed every fight from the last six months. Has drafted, mentally, a list of ways they might be the problem. The partner has, in the meantime, gone to bed. The partner was slightly tired and the comment was about a dishwasher.
Chronic. Each minor friction triggers a full audit.
None. A physician with actual credentials would be more useful than our paperwork.
Patients with Terminal Am-I-A-Bad-Partner Loop typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Am-I-A-Bad-Partner Loop belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Dubium conjugalis permanens, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.