Formulary Entry

Gymnasii Divortium

UNTREATABLE.COM

Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1

℞

Rx #29,625 Gym & Athletic Floor

Prescribed

Gymnasii Divortium

(Gym Separation, amicable)

Dosage	One (1) gym switched, the original left to the ex without further negotiation
Frequency	Once
Duration	Permanent
Refills	0 — the sister-mediated calendar is, apparently, more effort than the new membership

Side effects May include the specific irritation of learning a new locker-room layout, the phantom pull to attend the ex's 6 PM slot 'just to see,' and — critically — the observation that maintaining a shared-gym custody schedule was, apparently, more of a relationship than the actual relationship had been.

Fill this prescription

📁 Browse full list

Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Gymnasii Divortium for:

Terminal gym breakup custody
6 AM / 6 PM split schedules maintained via the ex's sister's Google Calendar
The specific 'did not see you' protocol both parties have silently agreed to

What is this?

Gymnasii Divortium is a formal prescription dispensed by the Institute Pharmacy for the behavioral complaint described above. It is not a real medication, will not be found in any pharmacopoeia, and cannot be filled at a real pharmacy. It can, however, be filled by the patient, for the patient, at home.

In the Institute Pharmacy's ledger, this prescription is entered under the English reading Gym Separation, amicable — a description patients tend to find more useful than the Latin.

Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.

Prescribed for

What is this?

Related conditions

Related prescriptions