UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient and their ex joined a gym together 14 months ago. They have now broken up. The gym has become territory. Patient goes at 6 AM; the ex goes at 6 PM. There is a Google Calendar shared with the ex's sister (the mutual friend) to prevent overlap. They have still seen each other twice. Both pretended not to notice.
Chronic. The lease on the membership ends in four months.
None. Changing gyms would mean losing.
Patients with Terminal Gym Breakup Custody typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Gym Breakup Custody belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Custodia gymnasii post-relationes, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.