UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient entered the sauna seeking ten minutes of solitude and immediately encountered a man who wants to discuss his powerlifting meet. Is 90 seconds in. The man has moved on to his thoughts on red-light therapy. Patient is now trapped. The sauna is 180°F. The man shows no sign of leaving.
Chronic. Escape attempts are thwarted by politeness.
None. The sauna timer has not moved in eleven minutes.
Patients with Severe Sauna Small-Talk Ambush typically present with some or all of the following:
This is the Institute's entry for Severe Sauna Small-Talk Ambush — a severe condition cataloged for archival purposes and shared for patient use. No prescription exists. No intervention has been shown effective. Recognition is the primary benefit of diagnosis.
Formal name: Colloquium sauna obligatus. Not found in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. Found, routinely, in the patient population.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.