UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient arrived six minutes late to the hot yoga class and has now had to step across 14 mats in dim lighting to reach the only open spot: directly in front of the instructor. The instructor made eye contact during a cue. Patient considered leaving. Is now sweating for eight reasons simultaneously.
Chronic. Each late arrival generates a new core memory.
None. Showing up on time would require leaving the house.
Patients with Acute Class Late-Arrival Spiral typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Class Late-Arrival Spiral was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Adventus tardus horror publicus — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.