UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has private, silent opinions about how every other dog owner is doing it wrong. The retractable leash people. The no-treats people. The treats-too-many people. The raw-feeders. Patient owns a well-adjusted dog. The dog does not share these opinions. The dog is trying to sniff something.
Chronic. The judgment is internal and voluminous.
Untreatable. Patient remains polite out loud.
Patients with Terminal Other-Peoples-Dogs Judgment typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Terminal Other-Peoples-Dogs Judgment present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Criticismus canis alieni perpetuus, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.