UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient parks their Whole Foods cart perpendicular in the aisle, stands four meters away, and studies a jar of organic pickles with the focus of a graduate thesis. Is deaf to 'excuse me.' Has been here for eleven minutes. The pickles are, apparently, a decision.
Permanent. The cart is not to be moved by anyone, including the patient.
Untreatable. The jar will be returned to the shelf.
Patients with Terminal Supermarket Blockade typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Supermarket Blockade is a terminal behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Carrus obstructio centralis — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.