UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient stands on the left of a a packed station escalator with a roller suitcase directly behind them, AirPods in at full volume, completely unaware of a 47-person queue forming at their back. Will only move if physically tapped. Will then appear deeply offended by the tap.
Permanent. The escalator, to the patient, is a ride.
None. Verbal cues are absorbed by the AirPods at 80% volume.
Patients with Chronic Escalator Blockade typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Escalator Blockade was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Scala mechanica stasis totalis — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.