UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient insists their dog Bruno 'does not bite' in the two seconds before Bruno bites. Has said this at least four times to strangers, postal workers, and a child at the park. The phrase has preceded three documented incidents. The sentence, at this point, is functionally a starting pistol.
Chronic. The phrase has not been updated.
Untreatable. Bruno continues to surprise no one except his owner.
Patients with Chronic My-Dog-Doesnt-Bite Denial typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic My-Dog-Doesnt-Bite Denial present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Mos canis negatus universalis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
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