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Condition File

Severe Crepitus Cereal Syndrome

UNTREATABLE.COM Institute of Incurable Conditions
SEVERE
Diagnosis
Severe Crepitus Cereal Syndrome
Articulus sonorus multiplex
Clinical description

Patient rises from a chair, bends to pick up a dropped phone, or crouches to retrieve a sock, and the resulting sound is the full snap-crackle-pop of a bowl of freshly milked Rice Krispies. The sound is audible across the room. A family member has turned to look. The patient is 31. This is apparently how it is now.

Prognosis

Permanent. Medically classified as crepitus; culturally classified as a personality trait.

Recommended treatment

None. The noises are not, strictly, painful. They are just loud.

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Common symptoms

Patients with Severe Crepitus Cereal Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:

What is this?

This is the Institute's entry for Severe Crepitus Cereal Syndrome — a severe condition cataloged for archival purposes and shared for patient use. No prescription exists. No intervention has been shown effective. Recognition is the primary benefit of diagnosis.

Formal name: Articulus sonorus multiplex. Not found in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. Found, routinely, in the patient population.

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