UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's cat Mochi does one mildly dog-like thing — she greets people at the door — and patient has built an entire identity around this. 'She is basically a dog,' said at dinner parties for two years. Mochi sleeps 19 hours a day, scratches furniture, and attacks ankles. She is a cat.
Chronic. The single data point remains load-bearing.
None. The claim will survive contradicting evidence.
Patients with Pathological My-Cat-Is-A-Dog Broadcast typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Pathological My-Cat-Is-A-Dog Broadcast present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Felis canis-similis proclamatio, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.