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Patient opens their Peloton at 6 PM and immediately compares their output to the user 'ironlegs_mommy_42' who has, somehow, been beating them for nine consecutive weeks. Patient has now created a secondary account to lap themselves on easy rides for confidence. The instructor cannot help them.
Chronic. Comparison intensifies with each shared class.
None. 'ironlegs_mommy_42' is, statistically, just better.
Patients with Chronic Peloton Leaderboard Spiral typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Peloton Leaderboard Spiral is a chronic behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Tabula victrix bicycletae obsessiva — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.