UNTREATABLE.COM
| Dosage | One (1) speaking volume calibrated to match ambient restaurant tone |
| Frequency | Continuous during any restaurant meal |
| Duration | Lifelong |
| Refills | 0 — the restaurant volume was the volume the whole time |
The Institute dispenses Volumen Aequatio for:
Volumen Aequatio is part of the Institute Pharmacy's formulary of satirical prescriptions. Everything on this slip is fictional except the behavior it addresses. A real pharmacist, handed this slip, would decline to fill it. Patients are invited to fill it themselves.
Patients know it in practice as Volume Matching, ambient — the Latin is ceremonial; the English form is what they actually execute.
Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.