UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient taps their foot against the underside of a shared restaurant booth at 140 beats per minute. When asked to stop, does — for exactly four seconds. Taps resume on the opposite foot. Has been seated at this table for eleven minutes. The glasses have stopped vibrating only because the waiter removed them.
Permanent. Both feet are now load-bearing to the rhythm.
None. Sedation would be excessive. Probably.
Patients with Chronic Unnecessary Foot-Tapping typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic Unnecessary Foot-Tapping present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Pedis percussio involuntaria, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.