UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient stands outside a single-stall restaurant bathroom and asks, through the door, if everything is okay. Has asked this three times in ninety seconds. Has offered to get a plunger. Has offered to get a manager. The person inside has been in for ninety seconds.
Incurable. Patient is, in their view, a fixer.
Acknowledgment from inside does not reduce the questions.
Patients with Severe Bathroom-Queue Loitering typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Bathroom-Queue Loitering belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Mora loci secretus anxietas, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.