UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient enters a restaurant at 7:30 PM in January, wearing sunglasses. Orders in sunglasses. Reads the menu in sunglasses. The waiter asks a clarifying question. The sunglasses remain on. The sun has been down for four hours. The patient knows.
Chronic. Worsens after any reference to 'the light in here.'
No cure. The eyes, apparently, belong to the patient.
Patients with Catastrophic Indoor Sunglasses Commitment typically present with some or all of the following:
Catastrophic Indoor Sunglasses Commitment is a catastrophic behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Ocularia solis perpetua interior — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.