UNTREATABLE.COM
| Dosage | One (1) conversation with a parent where the patient's partner is defended first, audibly, in the room |
| Frequency | Per in-law conflict |
| Duration | Permanent realignment |
| Refills | Unlimited — a physician with actual credentials would be more useful than our paperwork |
The Institute dispenses Defensio Coniugis Primaria for:
Defensio Coniugis Primaria is part of the Institute Pharmacy's formulary of satirical prescriptions. Everything on this slip is fictional except the behavior it addresses. A real pharmacist, handed this slip, would decline to fill it. Patients are invited to fill it themselves.
Patients know it in practice as Partner Defense, declared first — the Latin is ceremonial; the English form is what they actually execute.
Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.