Formulary Entry

Camera Non-Curatam

UNTREATABLE.COM

Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1

℞

Rx #35,683 Workplace & Hustle

Prescribed

Camera Non-Curatam

(Uncurated Camera, one call)

Dosage	One (1) video call joined without 90 seconds of pre-call lighting, background, and angle adjustment
Frequency	Per video call
Duration	Permanent practice
Refills	Unlimited — the natural room lighting is, apparently, acceptable

Side effects May include the specific discomfort of a call held with the kitchen visible, the phantom urge to 'just blur the background quickly,' and — critically — the observation that the coworkers patient has been visually curating for have been, apparently, not noticing which books were on the shelf.

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Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Camera Non-Curatam for:

Severe meeting-cam curation disorder
The 14-minute pre-call lighting / books-behind / mug-placement optimization
The specific performance of 'casually intentional' home office visible to Zoom

What is this?

Camera Non-Curatam is part of the Institute Pharmacy's formulary of satirical prescriptions. Everything on this slip is fictional except the behavior it addresses. A real pharmacist, handed this slip, would decline to fill it. Patients are invited to fill it themselves.

Patients know it in practice as Uncurated Camera, one call — the Latin is ceremonial; the English form is what they actually execute.

Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.

Prescribed for

What is this?

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