UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has a 2 PM deadline and has, so far, reorganized their desk, responded to a non-urgent email from March, watched a 14-minute YouTube video on how to sharpen a chef's knife they do not own, and made a second coffee. It is now 1:51 PM. The document is blank. They feel, somehow, productive.
Chronic. Worsens with urgency.
Untreatable. Starting, apparently, is the hardest part.
Patients with Severe Strategic Procrastination typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Strategic Procrastination belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Procrastinatio strategica elaborata, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.