UNTREATABLE.COM
| Dosage | One (1) office day where patient arrives, drinks coffee, does work, and leaves — without the coffee being the attendance justification |
| Frequency | Per office day |
| Duration | Permanent |
| Refills | 0 — the coffee is, apparently, not the job |
The Institute dispenses Coffeum Non-Theatricum for:
The Institute issues Coffeum Non-Theatricum for the specific pattern cataloged in the paired condition file. All dispensing information — dosage, frequency, duration, refills — is meant to be read, not filled. The side-effects line, as with every Institute prescription, is where the treatment actually lives.
Translated into plain language, the prescription reads Non-Theatrical Coffee, 90 minutes. The dosage follows from the name.
Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.