UNTREATABLE.COM
Waiter said 'enjoy your meal.' Patient, without any internal consultation, replied 'you too.' The waiter blinked. Patient blinked. Nobody said anything further. Patient will now think about this specific exchange at 3:14 AM every night for the next eleven years. The meal, to be fair, was fine.
Permanent. The reflex has replaced conscious thought in food-service situations.
None. Each new 'you too' adds a memory to the 3 AM replay archive.
Patients with Terminal You-Too Response Reflex typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Terminal You-Too Response Reflex present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Responsum automaticum socialis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.