UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient claims both armrests on a Southwest flight within the first ninety seconds of boarding. Does not release them during beverage service. Does not release them during a three-hour flight. The adjacent passenger has pressed their own arm flush to the window frame and is now developing a neck problem.
Permanent. The armrest, to the patient, belongs to the last person to touch it.
None. Eye contact is interpreted as a territorial challenge.
Patients with Terminal Armrest Sovereignty typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Armrest Sovereignty is a terminal behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Bracchii dominium absolutum — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.