UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient approaches the on-ramp merge at 28 mph while oncoming highway traffic is doing 70. Has not accelerated. Is looking for a 'gap.' The gap is several gaps. The car behind them is, at this point, on the shoulder. Patient is reading the merge like a word problem. Nobody on this highway is getting home on time.
Permanent. The acceleration pedal is, apparently, a suggestion.
None. Practice on empty ramps has no effect in live traffic.
Patients with Terminal Merging Paralysis typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Merging Paralysis was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Coniunctio viaria horror — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.