UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has been driving for 22 years and has never, in that time, driven on the interstate. Takes the back roads exclusively. A 40-minute trip takes 90 minutes. Has a dedicated 'surface streets only' route saved in their Google Maps. Has declined three wedding invitations outside a 25-mile radius because 'the drive is too much.'
Permanent. The freeway is, apparently, not for them.
Untreatable. 'Defensive driving' is invoked as justification.
Patients with Acute 'I Don't Do Highways' Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute 'I Don't Do Highways' Syndrome is an acute behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Evasio viae maximae — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.