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Condition File

Severe Dog-Greeting-Human Preference Disorder

UNTREATABLE.COM Institute of Incurable Conditions
SEVERE
Diagnosis
Severe Dog-Greeting-Human Preference Disorder
Praelatio canis super humanum
Clinical description

Patient enters a friend's apartment and goes directly to the dog. Greets the dog by name, baby-voice-full, for approximately 90 seconds. Eventually turns to the human friend and says 'oh hi.' Has done this to their own grandmother.

Prognosis

Chronic. Worsens with dog presence.

Recommended treatment

Untreatable. The dog remains the priority.

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Common symptoms

Patients with Severe Dog-Greeting-Human Preference Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:

What is this?

Severe Dog-Greeting-Human Preference Disorder is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.

In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Praelatio canis super humanum — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.

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