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Condition File

Terminal Harley Sunday-Morning Fleet Disorder

UNTREATABLE.COM Institute of Incurable Conditions
TERMINAL
Diagnosis
Terminal Harley Sunday-Morning Fleet Disorder
Motocycletum diurnus dominicus
Clinical description

Patient and 14 of their closest friends meet at a Cracker Barrel at 8:30 AM every Sunday. They depart, as a unit, at 8:47 AM. The route takes them through three quiet residential neighborhoods. The engines are, cumulatively, louder than the Cracker Barrel. Babies have been woken. Dogs have barked in sequence across two zip codes. Patient considers this a 'lifestyle.' The dogs disagree.

Prognosis

Chronic. Sunday morning is, apparently, the route.

Recommended treatment

None. The group has, collectively, 347 years of riding experience and zero intentions.

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Common symptoms

Patients with Terminal Harley Sunday-Morning Fleet Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:

What is this?

Patients diagnosed with Terminal Harley Sunday-Morning Fleet Disorder present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.

The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Motocycletum diurnus dominicus, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.

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