UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's 2019 Toyota Corolla contains: 14 empty coffee cups, a bag from a 2023 Chipotle, a gym bag patient does not remember owning, one single AirPod, receipts from Costco going back to the Obama years, and a small layer of unidentifiable gray residue on the floor. Refuses to use a car wash. The smell is, apparently, 'normal.'
Permanent. Archaeological strata are forming.
None. A full clean would require professional assistance.
Patients with Chronic 'Do Not Vacuum My Car' Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic 'Do Not Vacuum My Car' Disorder present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Neglectus habitationis vehicularis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.