UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient posts a 2,400-word Notes App apology every six weeks. Each one references the previous one. Each one is also the final one.
Cyclical. Sixth crashout due Thursday.
Incurable. Writing through it is the condition.
Patients with Terminal Crashout Pattern typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Crashout Pattern belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Crashoutus publicus eternus, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.